Eight years ago today my life changed in a painful way. At 2am I got the phone call that my best friend in the entire world had gone home to be with Jesus! The emotions were crazy... anger sorrow, questioning, guilt etc and didn't really hit me until later. I don't remember much it just seems a blur. But what I do remember is laying in bed late at night when we would sleep over and just talking about our future dreams, the boys we liked, our plans etc. And most vividly I remember Bethany's laugh. It was a contagious laugh. I remember her smile, her advice, and her face so clearly. I feared for a long time that I would forget. I feared that I would have to move on without her. None of this is the case.. I remember, she is a part of my life still. Always in my heart. I also believe that she is the guardian angel to my boys. There are not many places I can go in Greenville without some memory of Bethany. Today always brings many emotions, but it is not her passing that I want to remember or the way my heart breaks still when I think about her not being here. I don't want to experience the tears... I want to remember her with JOY because that was who she was. I have videos of Bethany that I have never been able to watch, I know how sad they will make me because I miss her so much! Bethany was strong, courageous, and full of life. I just didn't know her life was intended to be spent in heaven before I would ever want it to be her time. I am sure she is looking down on all of us and saying " you have no clue what you are missing, because Heaven is AMAZING." I also know if she had the opportunity to be back here on earth, she would say No.
I know today is heartbreaking for her parents, it is a constant reminder and just opens up the wounds that have never healed completely. Bethany's life and the person she was is a testament to how amazing her parents are. They are the ones who instilled a love for the Lord in her heart from such a young age. They are the ones who raised her into the amazing person she became and they are the ones who suffer the most in the loss of their only daughter. It just doesn't seem fair.
I owe them an apology because I have not been there for them the past 8 years like I should. I let life get too busy and don't call or go see them and as it is not intentional, I know it hurts. So today I lift up prayers of comfort to the Enloe's. That their hearts will not be filled with sadness today, but that they will be able to celebrate the life of Bethany. That doesn't mean tears won't come, but I pray that it won't be a depressing heart wrenching day for them. Mr. and Mrs. Enloe I love you.... and Bethany my sweet friend it doesn't get easier as the years go by because I miss you now as much as I ever have!
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