How is it already 2016? How do I have an 8 year old, and almost 7 year old and my baby is already 3 years old?? What?? Where does it go and how do you take it all in and savor it? How do you hold on to the memories and burn them into your memory? I have missed so much blogging and writing the memories because life is just busy. This year I am making some changes to do more to enjoy my boys, spend time with them and actually be there. Not at the park on my phone doing work or answering emails. Actually there letting them show me things and watching the expression on their faces when they are excited. I have been really struggling with the feeling it is all going too fast and I am missing it.
Ever since my gallbladder surgery on Dec. 9th, I have been dealing with slight depression. Not sure why, but i am wondering if it has something to do with being under anesthesia and just the whole "my body is still healing and trying to get back to normal again"
It isn't terrible, it is more of a baby blues feeling without all the crying. It is just feeling sad for some reason. It comes and goes and never lasts a really long time, but I can't seem to get rid of it. I am taking St. Johns Wort which helps a lot. I have also started praying when I feel it starting. I think the holiday season makes it a little worse as well. The praying has helped too. I know the Lord does not want me to feel this way. I will overcome it :) I think once I get released to exercise, it will also help.
So looking back on 2015, we had quite a year! Brad worked his tail off and the Lord has let us see the benefits of his hard work. We got to go on many trips, the kids got to do a lot of fun summer day camps and play the sports they wanted to play. They started basketball and we started going to a new church. The boys got to start going to Private school which is my favorite thing this year! The benefits of having them in private school are HUGE. Brad and I got to go on a huge anniversary trip to Jamaica. Brad had a grill blow up on him and had 2nd and 3rd degree burns, ended up in the Augusta burn center. He has no damage from the situation. I started getting gallbladder attacks on Labor Day weekend and it progressed until December 3-5th when I got a blockage and spent 6 days in the hospital and had 2 operations. We paid of tons of debt this year which has raised our credit scored significantly and has us in a great place to buy a house this year. The boys have grown up and are changing in many ways. They are a joy and a frustration daily. I am so thankful for them though.
I have seen their hearts in new ways this year.
The absolute highlight of 2015 is that Caleb asked the Lord to be in his life. There is nothing I want more in my life here on earth than to know my boys love the Lord with all their heart. I will pray for them until the day I die. The joy I got to experience that night leading him in a prayer and commitment to God was amazing!
I can't recap all of 2015 in a blog post, but I know it was a year I learned to love more, learned to yell less (although I am starting over this year) and a year I feel like I was able to figure out this whole being a mom to boys thing a little more. Was it perfect? NO WAY! You live and you learn and you take it in along the way.
This year I only have a few resolutions I want to do.
1. The orange rhino challenge - I made it to Easter last year and then blew it. Bathroom renovations and living with family for 6 weeks increased the stress and I lost control of my goal. I never started back over, so this year I begin again. (I am 2 days in with no yelling) Yay me. I am going to do it!
2. Complete my weight loss and reach my goal by March 6th. I finally got a hold of my weight and got into a normal BMI and released into maintenance from my doctor. I got off track this fall with continued weight loss and my gallbladder issues, but I maintained my weight and I am happy I finally reached being in the 140's- something that has not happened in 8 years! Here is to continuing my interrupted weight loss journey and finishing it!
3. Less time on my phone- I have become a creature of habit- my phone lives in my hand and I am constantly on it. I want to put it down and focus on my family. I want to quit being tied to my phone and always having it. I am cutting way back on facebook and deleted the games on my phone. I want to be more in tune to my family and conversations around me.
4. Buy a new home! This is the year we get our next house. It is time and we are ready.
I am thankful so very thankful... I have a lot to look forward to this year and can't wait to see it unfold.
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