Thursday, May 21, 2009

Birth Control...

I started birth control the April before I got married in 2005 and I never handled it very well. I was on 5 different kinds from April to October trying to find one that didn't have some big side effect. One caused these migraines in my eye socket, another caused me to be so moody, and the last one I was on caused depression. I had never been depressed a day in my life prior to these pills. So after I realized that depression was something it was causing I talked with Brad and we made the decision for me to get off birth control. Benjamin was conceived 6 months after that and then we found out we were pregnant with Caleb too soon after Benjamin. After realizing our store bought form of birth control didn't work I knew I needed to do something to make sure I didn't get pregnant again after Caleb. (at least not so soon) So three weeks ago I started the mini pill since I am breastfeeding it is the only form of the pill that is ok to use and I am just not myself. Today I called the doctor to find out what I can do about it, because I can't be this monster I feel like. I am on edge all the time, I feel like I don't like my children most of the time and I get so aggravated at them. It's not their fault they are being themselves (babies). I get so aggravated with Brad and honestly it is not anything or any real reason to be mad at him. I had/have the option of getting an IUD, but there is a VERY slight chance that conception can happen but the IUD doesn't allow implantation. To me, my religious convictions don't think this is something to even consider. I can't risk that. So anyway.. I don't know what they are going to tell me to do, but the pills are pretty much out in my opinion. I love my family too much to feel and act like this.

3 comments:

Amy Scott said...

I am just like you in that I don't care for any form of hormonal BC, for all of the reasons you listed. We use a diaphram, and it has been very good (as long as we do actually use it). Just a thought for you. Feel free not to post this if you don't want! :)

Joelle Turner said...

I just wanted to tell you I admire your honesty! I feel like I can relate to a lot of the things you say... and they are things not many people would put into words let alone post online! Good for you!! You've been very therapeutic for me :) I hope you figure something out that you are comfortable with. I wish I had a suggestion for you!

Elizabeth L said...

Hey Lauren,
I always enjoy reading your blog. I didn't share your same struggle with medication, but a lot of friends have. We have a mutual friend in Alabama that went on an IUD and loves it. She said she researched and found that they've made a lot of changes in how they work and she doesn't have any of the reservations she used to (like the onese you said you have now). I'm sure you would want to verify for yourself, but it may be something to reexplore... She did say it took a few months for her body to adjust but now she really loves it. Hope that helps! You can email me if you want to contact my "source" yourself :) I just didn't want to put her name on here.

Who I am Through Pictures