Today marks Day 4 that I have not yelled or raised my voice at my boys, or in general. I feel like a new person. I feel happier, more accomplished, I don't go to bed angry with myself and I am LOVING THIS! Not to mention that my boys are happier and I am finding more reason to praise them and less reason to get mad about things. I am finding they are more willing to have better behavior because mommy is behaving better too. I really like this new me and I am finding more joy in my day. I didn't realize how much I was the problem in many situations, not my kids. I was not the one in control, they were controlling me and pushing my buttons. Tonight we even played a board game after dinner and once the kids were in PJ's. There is something in our house that we have not had since our second child turned about 2 1/2 and life just got crazy at that point with a 3 1/2 year old and a 2 1/2 year old.
Tonight there was even a period of craziness, when I was trying to get dinner going, Caleb was in the kitchen and I was helping him with homework, Elijah was screaming in his crib (I had to get him out of the kitchen for a few minutes so I put him in there with books) and Benjamin was supposed to be in his room doing homework, and instead he was back and fourth whining about homework. A week ago I would have lost it and screamed at them to be quite and give me a second to think. Not today. Today I calmly handled each situation and then went back to making dinner. I am so proud of myself. I now know I CAN do this.
So here's to another day that the Gray Rhino was nowhere to be found and the Orange Rhino, the loving, warm one was around all day.
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